The fucking arsehole just broke up with me two hours before my shift. And here I was thinking it was all going well. He actually said the words, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Like those sounds actually came out of his stupid mouth.

Arsehole!

Unfortunately, a month later, there was a party. Hosted by the one mutual friend who hadn’t chosen sides, my side that is, and insisted on inviting us both…

The professor returned to the centre and replaced the microphone, “I look forward to the day when we can all celebrate the union of two or more members of the community in total freedom.” They winked and added, “Who knows, perhaps the reception could be held at a weedery, and we can toast their unions over a finely vintaged red and our choice of green.” There were a few more chuckles from the audience this time. “Thank you for a wonderful semester...”