Terms like sapiosexual, demisexual, pansexual, get thrown around a lot, and I’ve always wondered where I fit on the spectrum. A review of my past partners, and passed attractions, reveals something interesting to me. I don’t really have one type.

Whilst I have certain preferences and prefer to connect over intelligence/humour/personality/drive. One trait above all seems to rule out everything else. I’m attracted to clarity….

Society seems to want to vilify all forms of desire and lust, while simultaneously using those very natural pulls to sell everything….

Fallacious title, but go with me for a moment. What does it mean to ‘cheat’ on your partner? Can you actually define where that line is, or is there some ambiguous knowing that will occur that will somehow inform you when it happens?

Let me ask you some questions….

There are certain activities that get me going. Certain situations, objects, places, and parts that really take sex to the next level. Don’t get me wrong, vanilla ice-cream is tasty, but sometimes I need to add some sprinkles and hot fudge sauce to enjoy my banana split sundae…

There is a direct connection between my mental state and arousal. When triggered, I go one of two ways; meltdown or hyper sexuality…

To be clear, whatever you are feeling is valid, normal, and likely has been felt by many other people in your situation. Regardless of if you are new to the ethical non monogamous (ENM) space or a veteran, emotions can, and should continue to, arise.

But should you do with those emotions? Particularly the ones that are ‘bad’?